Sometimes you just need some good news

"Sometimes you just need some good news." That's what my husband Mike said this week after we got two pieces of news we'd been hoping for.

First, the insurance check for the water damage in our condo is on the way! The water heater in the unit above us went out in early December and caused quite a bit of damage to our place. We cleaned up, had walls and carpet padding torn out and then embarked on a long season of getting estimates from contractors and WAITING. Looking back on it, we didn't have to wait all that long. Insurance settlements just don't happen quickly. I got a dose of reality and gratitude this week when I talked to a colleague whose house was destroyed in a fire a couple of weeks ago. She and her husband have to live in a double-wide trailer while their house is being repaired for the next nine months. Talk about perspective. Anyway, the news this week means we can move forward on our own repairs and start putting the condo back together. The first stage will happen next week when a contractor comes in to rebuild walls and repaint.

Second, I found out this week something unusual. I've had these really annoying digestive problems for months -- terrible gas & bloating, acid reflux, etc. I went to a gastroenterologist (a good one, as it turns out) last summer and discovered I'm lactose-intolerant, which is actually more common in adults than most people realize. (It means I lack the enzyme in my body to digest the sugar -- lactose -- present in milk and other dairy products.) Anyway, the symptoms started flaring up again around mid-November, but I knew it couldn't be the lactose because I've been on a diary-free diet since June.

I went through more rounds of tests, and it turns out my stomach takes twice as long to empty as a normal person's -- yeah, go figure. Who knew? I certainly didn't. It's unclear what's causing that -- it could be a viral infection that has damaged the nerves of my stomach, thus keeping it from contracting properly. Anyway, I'm on some medication now to speed things up in my tummy, and it's helping!!! Halleluiah! I've never had a chronic health issue that drives me crazy to the point of total frustration. I've known people who live with health issues just as frustrating, and you never really know what they're going through until you experience it yourself.

Those are our two bits of good news this week. And next week at this time, there will be more good news. I'll be done with the Beginning Reporting class that demands pretty much all of my attention for the first five weeks of the semester. It's been a good class, but I'm wiped out, and so are my students. It's like boot camp for wannabe journalists. The students take a daily Associated Press Stylebook quiz (the journalist's bible), have writing assignments everyday (just like the pace of being a real journalist), and get zeros on stories that they turn in late, misspell a name or get a fact wrong (they're always shocked to see that first zero, but it teaches them to pay attention). I think I may have weeded a few students out of the journalism program, but the class has inspired the rest to step up, get serious and keep going. Both of those are good things. Journalism is too demanding and too important a job for the half-hearted, at least the kind of journalism I teach my students to do.

The crowded days of life

I'm up during the wee hours of the morning today, trying to get tired enough to go back to sleep. I had a minor medical procedure done today (nothing serious, as it turns out), for which I was under a sort of half-asleep/half-awake anesthesia. The effect of the medication was I was exhausted by 6:30 p.m., but then I was awake again at 11 p.m. This quiet hour of the morning is the best time to think and process, I've found. Problem is, I'm not up very much this late or early, however you see it, so the best time to think and process gets slept away most days.

I have even less time to think and process lately because my life has kicked into fifth gear. I'm in the middle of teaching an intense, five-week version of a basic reporting class, and I'm teaching another, much slower-paced class that's easier to teach but seems somewhat like a nuisance while I'm so immersed in the other class. Right before the semester started I took on a writing project that has turned into a bigger thing than I anticipated. Last week I started helping lead a Bible study at church.

All of this stuff is good, although it takes its toll quickly. After only a couple of weeks at this pace, I long to slow down, take time to have a cup of coffee or tea without having to grade any assignments, look out the window and watch the snow fall (something it's been doing quite a lot in Denver this winter) and otherwise just take a deep breath.

The thing I dislike about being so maxed out is how quickly the time passes, and how disconnected I feel from anything but just muddling through the day before me. The goal becomes survival, and without much "margin" time between classes, appointments, deadlines, etc., I have a hard time enjoying things. This weekend I was reminded that during busy times like this, I tend to feel the most disconnected from God. I tend to think that my relationship with God is dependent on how much time I give him, and I beat myself up when I don't spend the time I think I should with him, should being the operative word here.

Don't get me wrong, time is important in all relationships. But all of us have good friends with whom no matter how much time passes since we've talked or seen one another, when you finally connect again, it's as if no time has passed at all. I want to experience God like that. I think I do sometimes. I need to allow myself that freedom more often -- to come to him with the mundane, everyday stuff, not just the big stuff, and let him into even the craziest of days. Then when all I have time to do is say, "Hi, God," it's enough and we're connected. As good as it is to slow down, pull back from things and reestablish some balance in our lives, during some seasons life is just busy, and we have to figure out a way to connect with God in the midst of it.

One of my favorite devotional books is "God Calling." Here's what it says about experiencing God in the busy days:

"Be calm. Never Fear. You have much to learn. Go on until you can take the most crowded day with a song. "Sing unto the Lord." The finest accompaniment to a song of praise to Me is a very crowded day. Let love be the motif running through all . . . Do not get worried. I am your helper. "Underneath are the everlastings arms." You cannot get below that. Rest in them, as a tired child rests." -- God Calling (January 21 entry)

Fasting from television

Have you ever fasted from watching television? Mike and I have been doing that this week. We actually fasted from TV last summer after we got back from a vacation to the mountains where we stayed in a bed & breakfast with no television in the room. We got back and realized we didn't miss the TV, so we kept it off for a few weeks.

This fast has been more purposeful and a little bit harder -- one, because it's the middle of winter and there's not much to do, particularly in the evening hours between dusk and bedtime, and two, because it's something we've purposed to do. The last TV fast seemed more accidental.

We're fasting for a couple of different reasons:

1) We think it's good to do some kind of fast periodically (not just during Lent when most people think of fasting), whether from food or television or drinking soda or whatever. Sometimes we're so focused on "feeding our flesh," if you will, that we don't realize we don't actually NEED this stuff like we think we do.

2) Fasting clears our heads and helps us focus on what's most important, particularly listening to the voice of God. It's amazing how many voices vie for our attention in our media-driven culture.

The quiet of no television has been wonderful. It's hard to get used to at first -- so often I turn on the TV for noise -- but after a while it's a welcome change. Mike and I have been reading more. In fact, we've both almost finished a book each in a few days. Meals seem less hurried and more intentional. I feel less hurried and more relaxed. We didn't rule out the Internet or radio for this fast, so we're still getting our news and some entertainment. (I actually prefer to get my news from the newspaper or Internet anyway. To me it's like eating a well-cooked meal at home that you can digest more easily. Television news is like fast food -- quick, not much worth chewing on, and it leaves you hungry for something more.)

The most interesting thing I've noticed this week has been the absence of advertising from my life. Sure, I still hear ads on the radio or see them in the newspaper or on the Internet, but they're not the same as television advertising. The consumerism on TV seems intrusive now that I've been away from it for a while, but then again no one is holding a gun to my head forcing me to watch TV. I've never really understood why people complain so much about what's on TV, yet they won't turn it off, as if they have no choice about it. There is an OFF button.

The most amazing thing of the past few days is feeling more in tune to God's voice. No television gives me time to think more, time to pray more, time to process more. When that instinct kicks in to reach for the remote control (and believe me, that instinct has kicked in several times a day), I pause and think, "Nope, I'm not going to turn that TV on." It makes me think about why we decided to turn off the TV in the first place. It seems painful for a while -- after all, fasting of any kind is not supposed to be painless -- but then I just put it out of my mind and set myself to doing other things.

I'm not sure how long our fast will last. We didn't put a time limit on it. But the more time we go without TV, the easier it gets. And the more we realize there's not much worth watching anyway. It's more habit than anything else.

Ahhhh. . . . that peace and quiet, the absence of the noise and talking heads of our culture, sure sound wonderful.

The freedom of a "bluebird" day

Today was a perfect "bluebird" day in the mountains, as skiers and snowboarders like to call the clear-blue-sky days we often get here in Colorado. This was my second day skiing this season -- I went to Copper Mountain last Thursday and Winter Park today. Both days were great, and the best part is I'm not nearly as sore as I usually am after my first couple of days skiing each season. I credit the weight training I added to my workouts last summer -- nothing fancy, but the twice-a-week sessions working out my arms and legs do have some benefit.

At the encouragement of my husband, I got smarter about skiing last year and bought a season pass. Daily lift tickets at most Colorado resorts are now more than $80. (When I first started skiing at age 9, an adult daily lift ticket was about $25. Amazing.) So why not shell out a few hundred dollars before the season ever starts and go as many times as you want? Some people don't see the benefit to this for the ski resorts. Why even offer season passes when you could force people to pay $80 at the ticket window each day? Because ski resorts are not making their money off lift tickets, despite the ever-rising prices. The money is all in real estate (i.e. lodging), and the more times they can get people up to ski, the more likely it is they'll stay the night . . . and of course bring their friends/family and spend other money as well.

Anyway, a season pass is a great benefit for the skier. I'm not sure why I never considered it before. I blame my former inability to manage money very well, and therefore the mentality I'd never be able to afford a season pass. The season pass enables me to ski any day I choose, and if the weather turns out to be horrible, oh well. I can come back another day. I don't have to get up at the crack of dawn to get all my money's worth out of an $80 lift ticket. I can show up at mid-day and ski a few hours.

Today I skied nearly a full day. My husband doesn't ski. He wants to learn, but wintertime is crazy with his basketball play-by-play schedule. I have only a few friends who ski. I grew up skiing with my brothers and dad. My brothers moved to the Midwest, and my dad's hip bothers him now, so I mostly ski alone. I actually don't mind it, although some people look at me like I'm crazy to drive two hours to the mountains alone, followed by a day of skiing all by myself.

To be honest, I prefer the alone days. When you've skied most of your life, it isn't that difficult or weird. I feel so comfortable skiing, it's almost like coming home. And a day alone on the slopes is much safer than hiking alone. There are so many people around you, and half the time you end up riding the lift with someone else and striking up a conversation, so you really do share the experience with others.

Besides, I tend to be pretty independent up there. I like to skip lunch -- I find I don't get that hungry skiing, strangely enough -- and I usually ski one run after another without stopping. It's one of the only things I do in which I feel truly free -- free to clear my head of all my worries, free to be just who I am. It's just me and Jesus up there, floating across the snow, breathing in the fresh air, thinking about nothing much in particular except how glorious a Colorado "bluebird" day is.

Ringing in the new year

Ever since I was a kid, New Year's Eve/Day have been my least favorite holidays. How can the best holiday of the year be followed a week later by the worst?

New Year's Day historically means only one thing to me: An entire day of sitting around watching football, just like Thanksgiving and somewhat like Christmas has become. While the NFL has capitalized on Thanksgiving and Christmas, New Year's belongs to the sponsors of college bowl games. The other night I watched part of the Meineke Car Care Bowl. Can you imagine the excitement of the two teams when they found out which bowl game they'd go to? "Whoopee!!! We got invited to the Meineke Care Care Bowl!" I suppose the title of the bowl game doesn't matter -- the teams just want to get to one. (However I won't get started on the fact that half the Division I college football teams go to a bowl game now. The University of Colorado Buffaloes, who finished the season with a 6-6 record, went to the Independence Bowl, which, by the way, they lost Sunday night.)

They still have the old-fashioned bowl games, like the Rose Bowl, the Sugar Bowl, the Orange Bowl etc., but they are known first by their sponsor names, like the FedEx Orange Bowl and the Tostitos Fiesta Bowl. Get your chips and salsa ready for that one. I'm still waiting for the creation of the Oxy Clean Toilet Bowl and the Kellogg's Cereal Bowl. Or how about the Panda Express Rice Bowl?

When I was younger New Year's Eve, at least, was a bigger deal. My parents used to host a party, where they and their friends would gather to eat shrimp. drink and play board games. When I was a teenager, my friends and I attempted a progressive dinner on New Year's Eve, but we didn't get past the appetizers because every restaurant in town was so crowded, we gave up on going to a different place for each course.

This year New Year's Eve and Day will be quiet in our household, as usual. Mike has to be at work at crazy hour both days (4 a.m.), so we're not going to be doing much late-night celebrating on New Year's Eve. Not that we would anyway. The turning of 2007 to 2008 calls for more reflection than celebration for us. I have spent some time the past few days thinking back on 2007, which was a great year in some ways for us but pretty frustrating in other ways. We've had some challenging times and hard lessons to learn about people and about life. This fall it seemed like we had one inconvenience after the other, climaxing with the water heater incident earlier this month. All of these inconveniences are minor as individual incidents, but taken as a whole, they challenge us to stay positive and realize sometimes seasons of life are just tough.

Here are some things about 2007 I'm thankful for:

-- Visiting my alma mater, the University of Missouri-Columbia, in January, after not having been there for more than 10 years.

-- Getting to see Mike's alma mater, the University of California-Berkeley, during a trip to the San Francisco area in March.

-- A great summer. We took several day trips and a couple of weekend trips to places in Colorado we'd never been or hadn't been in a long time. Most memorable was a day hike in August along an old mining road from Crested Butte to Marble.

-- A great Beginning Reporting class in the fall at Metro State College of Denver. Each class I teach is so different because each group of students gives the class as a whole a different personality. My students this fall were a joy to teach because they were eager to learn and highly motivated.

-- The Colorado Rockies' amazing post-season run to the World Series. I got to see the Rox clinch the National League championship in Denver and went to my first World Series game with my dad, brother Jeff and sister-in-law Sue. Mike got to cover the World Series games from Denver and Fenway Park in Boston. Despite the Rockies' loss in the series, "Rocktober" is a month we'll never forget.

-- In September we celebrated my mom and dad's 40th wedding anniversary with a suprise party and went to Mike's brother's wedding in Hawaii. You can't complain about a year too much if it included a trip to Hawaii, right?

As I've gotten older, one thing I do notice about New Year's is that I experience the hope of a new year more than I did when I was younger. I know it's a cliche, but I look forward to a fresh start in 2008. I've had fun this week putting our Christmas decorations away and in the process, cleaning some things out, throwing a lot of stuff away and making things different.

Out with the old and in with the new. I'm ready for it. How about you?

White Christmas

I woke up around 7:30 this morning, opened the blinds, and what to my wondering eyes would appear . . . SNOW! And lots of it.

I've lived in Colorado most of my life, and this is the first time I can remember it snowing this much on Christmas Day. According to the weather record books, it's snowed in Denver on Christmas Day only 13 times in the past 106 years. This is number 14. The record books also say the most snow that's fallen on Christmas Day was in 1912, when the city got two inches. We're expecting 6-8 inches today.

And by the way, this storm was not forecast. I went to bed last night expecting it to be cold today, but there was only a slight chance of flurries. It's a Christmas surprise for sure.

My husband Mike couldn't really understand why I was so thrilled to see it snowing this morning. He's a California boy, and snow is just snow to him, even on Christmas Day. It's so special to me because I know how rare it is in Denver. Last Christmas we had lots of snow on the ground -- Christmas Day actually fell between two blizzards that dumped a total of about four feet of snow. But no snow actually fell from the sky on Christmas Day. (The photo above was taken from right outside our condo on Dec. 21, 2006, the day after the first blizzard hit.)

And besides, there's nothing better than a snowstorm on a day when you plan to be inside, drink coffee and hot cocoa, open presents and watch movies. We have nowhere to go, so let it snow!

As for the movie today, I think I'm in the mood for "White Christmas."

Trying to find the Christmas spirit

I started this holiday season with a lot of Christmas spirit . . . I was eager to put up Christmas decorations, make cards, bake cookies and wrap presents. A question posed by the pastor of our church this weekend made me think: What is the "spirit" of Christmas anyway?

An incident at our house last week seemed to zap the spirit right out of me. The water heater in the condo unit above us went out, sending gallons and gallons of water into our walls and carpets. It has been inconvenient, for sure, as we've had to move our furniture out of the living room and office, live pretty much out of our master bedroom, take down Christmas decorations, and live with dehumidifiers and fans drying everything out. Meanwhile, we wait for our neighbor's insurance company to work out the particulars of who is responsible for all of this financially.

At this point, I just want my house back in order, but that's not likely to happen anytime soon. It kind of makes Christmas seem like an inconvenience, with all the baking, Christmas-card sending and wrapping yet to do but not much motivation to do it anymore.

Is that the Christmas "spirit" -- the doing, the running around, the spending, the giving of material things, the lights and decorations that get us into the "mood" of the holiday season? Is it the warm feelings, the wishes of peace on earth and good will toward men, as all the Christmas card verses indicate?

Every year I battle the expectations of Christmas versus the Christmas I'd like to find. As a kid it was all about Santa Claus and gifts. As an adult woman, it's about all the things I think I should be doing . . . creating the "perfect" atmosphere that all the female relatives before me set out to create as well.

Our pastor this weekend said something else that made me think: You can't expect to get out of Christmas what Christmas can't give. Can a holiday really bring you peace and joy and love and hope? Why is it that Christmas usually brings stress and depression and anger and disappointment?

I read a series of books this year, the A.D. Chronicles by Bodie and Brock Thoene, that made me rethink Christmas. The books focus on the ministry of Christ, although the fifth and sixth books go back and tell the story of Mary, Joseph and the birth of Jesus. Like the 2006 movie "The Nativity Story," the story reveals just how poor and brave Mary and Joseph were, how lowly the birth of Jesus really was, how anticipated his coming was among the Jews. The nativity scenes in our living rooms and on our lawns don't do it justice. To me, the story reveals how "off" I've really been about Christmas.

It makes makes me think of my favorite Christmas song. Here are the words:

"Welcome To Our World" by Chris Rice

Tears are falling, hearts are breaking
How we need to hear from God
You've been promised, we've been waiting
Welcome Holy Child
Welcome Holy Child

Hope that you don't mind our manger
How I wish we would have known
But long-awaited Holy Stranger
Make Yourself at home
Please make Yourself at home

Bring Your peace into our violence
Bid our hungry souls be filled
Word now breaking Heaven's silence
Welcome to our world
Welcome to our world

Fragile finger sent to heal us
Tender brow prepared for thorn
Tiny heart whose blood will save us
Unto us is born
Unto us is born

So wrap our injured flesh around You
Breathe our air and walk our sod
Rob our sin and make us holy
Perfect Son of God
Perfect Son of God
Welcome to our world

This week I seek a different spirit . . . the Spirit of Jesus who lives inside me and whispers to me every year to put aside what I think the holiday season is all about and embrace what it really is. Maybe I needed a broken water heater and all of the inconveniences that have followed to stop and listen to His voice.