Trying to find the Christmas spirit

I started this holiday season with a lot of Christmas spirit . . . I was eager to put up Christmas decorations, make cards, bake cookies and wrap presents. A question posed by the pastor of our church this weekend made me think: What is the "spirit" of Christmas anyway?

An incident at our house last week seemed to zap the spirit right out of me. The water heater in the condo unit above us went out, sending gallons and gallons of water into our walls and carpets. It has been inconvenient, for sure, as we've had to move our furniture out of the living room and office, live pretty much out of our master bedroom, take down Christmas decorations, and live with dehumidifiers and fans drying everything out. Meanwhile, we wait for our neighbor's insurance company to work out the particulars of who is responsible for all of this financially.

At this point, I just want my house back in order, but that's not likely to happen anytime soon. It kind of makes Christmas seem like an inconvenience, with all the baking, Christmas-card sending and wrapping yet to do but not much motivation to do it anymore.

Is that the Christmas "spirit" -- the doing, the running around, the spending, the giving of material things, the lights and decorations that get us into the "mood" of the holiday season? Is it the warm feelings, the wishes of peace on earth and good will toward men, as all the Christmas card verses indicate?

Every year I battle the expectations of Christmas versus the Christmas I'd like to find. As a kid it was all about Santa Claus and gifts. As an adult woman, it's about all the things I think I should be doing . . . creating the "perfect" atmosphere that all the female relatives before me set out to create as well.

Our pastor this weekend said something else that made me think: You can't expect to get out of Christmas what Christmas can't give. Can a holiday really bring you peace and joy and love and hope? Why is it that Christmas usually brings stress and depression and anger and disappointment?

I read a series of books this year, the A.D. Chronicles by Bodie and Brock Thoene, that made me rethink Christmas. The books focus on the ministry of Christ, although the fifth and sixth books go back and tell the story of Mary, Joseph and the birth of Jesus. Like the 2006 movie "The Nativity Story," the story reveals just how poor and brave Mary and Joseph were, how lowly the birth of Jesus really was, how anticipated his coming was among the Jews. The nativity scenes in our living rooms and on our lawns don't do it justice. To me, the story reveals how "off" I've really been about Christmas.

It makes makes me think of my favorite Christmas song. Here are the words:

"Welcome To Our World" by Chris Rice

Tears are falling, hearts are breaking
How we need to hear from God
You've been promised, we've been waiting
Welcome Holy Child
Welcome Holy Child

Hope that you don't mind our manger
How I wish we would have known
But long-awaited Holy Stranger
Make Yourself at home
Please make Yourself at home

Bring Your peace into our violence
Bid our hungry souls be filled
Word now breaking Heaven's silence
Welcome to our world
Welcome to our world

Fragile finger sent to heal us
Tender brow prepared for thorn
Tiny heart whose blood will save us
Unto us is born
Unto us is born

So wrap our injured flesh around You
Breathe our air and walk our sod
Rob our sin and make us holy
Perfect Son of God
Perfect Son of God
Welcome to our world

This week I seek a different spirit . . . the Spirit of Jesus who lives inside me and whispers to me every year to put aside what I think the holiday season is all about and embrace what it really is. Maybe I needed a broken water heater and all of the inconveniences that have followed to stop and listen to His voice.