Picture of love

I'm borrowing today's blog entry from Valorie Burton, a Maryland-based author, speaker and life coach. A friend referred me to her Web site and weekly newsletter. Click here for more information about her.

I thought Burton's take on the "love" chapter in 1 Corinthians 13 was thought-provoking. I realize Valentine's Day was two weeks ago, but I think we could all use a daily dose of inspiration/guidance about love . . . and not just the romantic kind of love. How are you doing at loving the people in your life?

This week, I would like to serve as your loving reminder of what it means to love someone. These are seven straightforward, at times difficult, but always effective strategies for loving others - and experiencing more love in your life. Saint Paul wrote them in the 13th chapter of his first letter to the Corinthians. We often hear the scripture recited at weddings. This week, meditate on these seven principles. Find news ways to express love on a daily basis and strengthen your daily interaction with others -- whether loved ones or strangers, co-workers or neighbors. The greatest use of your life is to love. When you apply this kind of love to a situation, it never fails:

1. LOVE IS PATIENT.
People won't always do what you want when you want them to. Practice being patient - whether with your children, your significant other or the grocery cashier who takes too long to ring up your order. Everything happens for a reason - and that includes the timing of when things happen. Be patient and learn the lesson that comes in the process of enduring the wait. Sometimes the lesson is simple: Slow down and enjoy life.

2. LOVE IS KIND.
Every single day, choose to be kind. Ask yourself each morning, "How could I be a blessing to someone today?" Whether it is a kind word, a loving gesture or helping someone in need, seek ways to be kind daily. Not only will it be a blessing to those you encounter, but it feels good to your soul.

3. LOVE DOES NOT ENVY.
There will always be someone who appears to have "more" or to be doing better. Make a decision not to be envious of others, but in every circumstance of life to find a reason to be thankful. Jealousy poisons your attitude, builds resentment and can ruin relationships. Rather than envying others, learn from them. Even be inspired by them. And simultaneously, choose to be content with what you have while you journey towards something better.

4. LOVE DOES NOT BOAST AND IS NOT PROUD.
Resist the temptation to boast about yourself, your accomplishments or your loved ones. It often only makes others feel "less than," which of course, is not an expression of love. Practice humility. Allow your accomplishments to speak for themselves. Others often notice your good work and deeds, even without you having to make a big deal of them. In fact, it is far more attractive to simply "be" great than to try to convince others of your greatness.

5. LOVE IS NOT RUDE OR EASILY ANGERED.
We've all had our moments when our behavior has been less than considerate. Next time you feel the urge to be rude, inconsiderate or to jump to conclusions, stop yourself. Take a deep breath and ask, "What would be a more loving response to this situation?" That doesn't mean that you allow others to walk all over you. You can speak the truth to people in a very matter of fact way, without being rude. Be considerate of others feelings and be willing to give people the benefit of the doubt.

6. LOVE KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONGS.
Have you ever known someone who remembered every mistake you ever made or everything you ever did wrong? As you have grown and become a better person, all they can remember is the person you used to be. It is very frustrating and you may even find yourself ready to distance yourself from that person. Learn from the past behavior of others - and protect yourself accordingly, when necessary - but resist the temptation to continually bring up everything someone has done wrong. Love others by encouraging them towards a better future, not defining them by their past.

7. LOVE REJOICES IN THE TRUTH.
So often, it seems we are afraid of the truth. When something is wrong, we pretend everything is OK. Often both parties will pretend even when both parties know there is a problem. One of the most important love skills you can learn is to be honest. Refuse to live lies or to accept lies as truth. Have truthful conversations with yourself and others. It allows you to get to the core of issues faster. It empowers others to trust you. It relieves the stress of tiptoeing around the real issues. Learn to speak the truth in a spirit of love and kindness, and your life will be richer and more fulfilling.

Running away from politics

I think I've had enough. And it's only February.

I'd already had enough with the bantering going on the last few weeks between Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton.

Then today came the New York Times article about John McCain's alleged "romantic" relationship with a female lobbyist -- although the article never provided any evidence that he'd had a romantic relationship with the woman. At least the story provided some discussion in my reporting class this morning over the use of anonymous sources. Anonymous sources should be avoided, I tell my students all the time, for the very reasons today's story highlights. How do we know the story is true if the sources aren't named? How do we know there's any credibility behind the information? Ah, yes, I forgot . . . if it's about a politician, it must be true if there's an anonymous source. Watched "All the President's Men" lately?

I'm not a huge fan or follower of politics, and the last two months have done nothing to change my point of view. This election -- and we haven't even entered the official election season yet -- has already done me in. I'm tired of talking about it with my students. I'm tired of hearing about it on talk radio. I'm tired of the news reports with the latest on the candidate of the day. It's just too much. I started to launch into a spew of negativity about politics this morning when my husband cut me off. "Let's talk about something else," he said. Good idea.

So this blog is where I can get it off my chest once and for all that I'm done! I think I'm going to take a vacation when the Democratic National Convention comes to Denver this August. And declare a media fast for that week. I don't want to be anywhere near it.

Baseball season, anyone? Only 38 more days until opening day. Go Rockies!

Sometimes you just need some good news

"Sometimes you just need some good news." That's what my husband Mike said this week after we got two pieces of news we'd been hoping for.

First, the insurance check for the water damage in our condo is on the way! The water heater in the unit above us went out in early December and caused quite a bit of damage to our place. We cleaned up, had walls and carpet padding torn out and then embarked on a long season of getting estimates from contractors and WAITING. Looking back on it, we didn't have to wait all that long. Insurance settlements just don't happen quickly. I got a dose of reality and gratitude this week when I talked to a colleague whose house was destroyed in a fire a couple of weeks ago. She and her husband have to live in a double-wide trailer while their house is being repaired for the next nine months. Talk about perspective. Anyway, the news this week means we can move forward on our own repairs and start putting the condo back together. The first stage will happen next week when a contractor comes in to rebuild walls and repaint.

Second, I found out this week something unusual. I've had these really annoying digestive problems for months -- terrible gas & bloating, acid reflux, etc. I went to a gastroenterologist (a good one, as it turns out) last summer and discovered I'm lactose-intolerant, which is actually more common in adults than most people realize. (It means I lack the enzyme in my body to digest the sugar -- lactose -- present in milk and other dairy products.) Anyway, the symptoms started flaring up again around mid-November, but I knew it couldn't be the lactose because I've been on a diary-free diet since June.

I went through more rounds of tests, and it turns out my stomach takes twice as long to empty as a normal person's -- yeah, go figure. Who knew? I certainly didn't. It's unclear what's causing that -- it could be a viral infection that has damaged the nerves of my stomach, thus keeping it from contracting properly. Anyway, I'm on some medication now to speed things up in my tummy, and it's helping!!! Halleluiah! I've never had a chronic health issue that drives me crazy to the point of total frustration. I've known people who live with health issues just as frustrating, and you never really know what they're going through until you experience it yourself.

Those are our two bits of good news this week. And next week at this time, there will be more good news. I'll be done with the Beginning Reporting class that demands pretty much all of my attention for the first five weeks of the semester. It's been a good class, but I'm wiped out, and so are my students. It's like boot camp for wannabe journalists. The students take a daily Associated Press Stylebook quiz (the journalist's bible), have writing assignments everyday (just like the pace of being a real journalist), and get zeros on stories that they turn in late, misspell a name or get a fact wrong (they're always shocked to see that first zero, but it teaches them to pay attention). I think I may have weeded a few students out of the journalism program, but the class has inspired the rest to step up, get serious and keep going. Both of those are good things. Journalism is too demanding and too important a job for the half-hearted, at least the kind of journalism I teach my students to do.

The crowded days of life

I'm up during the wee hours of the morning today, trying to get tired enough to go back to sleep. I had a minor medical procedure done today (nothing serious, as it turns out), for which I was under a sort of half-asleep/half-awake anesthesia. The effect of the medication was I was exhausted by 6:30 p.m., but then I was awake again at 11 p.m. This quiet hour of the morning is the best time to think and process, I've found. Problem is, I'm not up very much this late or early, however you see it, so the best time to think and process gets slept away most days.

I have even less time to think and process lately because my life has kicked into fifth gear. I'm in the middle of teaching an intense, five-week version of a basic reporting class, and I'm teaching another, much slower-paced class that's easier to teach but seems somewhat like a nuisance while I'm so immersed in the other class. Right before the semester started I took on a writing project that has turned into a bigger thing than I anticipated. Last week I started helping lead a Bible study at church.

All of this stuff is good, although it takes its toll quickly. After only a couple of weeks at this pace, I long to slow down, take time to have a cup of coffee or tea without having to grade any assignments, look out the window and watch the snow fall (something it's been doing quite a lot in Denver this winter) and otherwise just take a deep breath.

The thing I dislike about being so maxed out is how quickly the time passes, and how disconnected I feel from anything but just muddling through the day before me. The goal becomes survival, and without much "margin" time between classes, appointments, deadlines, etc., I have a hard time enjoying things. This weekend I was reminded that during busy times like this, I tend to feel the most disconnected from God. I tend to think that my relationship with God is dependent on how much time I give him, and I beat myself up when I don't spend the time I think I should with him, should being the operative word here.

Don't get me wrong, time is important in all relationships. But all of us have good friends with whom no matter how much time passes since we've talked or seen one another, when you finally connect again, it's as if no time has passed at all. I want to experience God like that. I think I do sometimes. I need to allow myself that freedom more often -- to come to him with the mundane, everyday stuff, not just the big stuff, and let him into even the craziest of days. Then when all I have time to do is say, "Hi, God," it's enough and we're connected. As good as it is to slow down, pull back from things and reestablish some balance in our lives, during some seasons life is just busy, and we have to figure out a way to connect with God in the midst of it.

One of my favorite devotional books is "God Calling." Here's what it says about experiencing God in the busy days:

"Be calm. Never Fear. You have much to learn. Go on until you can take the most crowded day with a song. "Sing unto the Lord." The finest accompaniment to a song of praise to Me is a very crowded day. Let love be the motif running through all . . . Do not get worried. I am your helper. "Underneath are the everlastings arms." You cannot get below that. Rest in them, as a tired child rests." -- God Calling (January 21 entry)